Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Regarding The Night Projectionist, a Pink Elephant and Nude Robot Dancers

I was chillin' with a little Vedanta meditation last night after eating one of those weird-tasting brownies that 407 editor-in-chief Chad, aka "The Big Pencil," supplies me with. Man, when I eat those things, I can reach all kinds of crazy-ass levels of consciousness. (Thanks, Chad!)

Anyway, I was floating about three feet off the ground, trying hard to ignore the naked, dancing robot girls playing a bump-and-grind version of Duck, Duck, Goose around my head, when all of the sudden, a huge, four-armed, fuschia elephant wearing a fez appeared. "Yo, Edgar, you ever tried enlightenment?" he said. "I'd like to turn you on, so the first taste is free."

Of course, this wasn't the first time an obscure Hindu deity has tried to turn me into an enlightenment junkie. Haven't we all had this happen to us at some point? But still, the pink pachyderm was offering to answer any question I wanted to ask. How can we fix the economy? How do we fix the Middle East? How do I get Transformers star Megan Fox to check out my personal Optimus Prime, if you catch my drift? These are the questions for the ages -- and I could get one of them answered.

Then Lord Galactitron called. 

"Edgar!" he barked, as the elephant chatted up my robot girls, waiting for my question, "I want more people to know about 407's awesome vampire title, The Night Projectionist! If you don't write the best friggin' blog about it ever, by tomorrow, I'm cutting off your 'Big Pencil' space cookie supply! And your elbows! I'm cutting those off too."

I hung up the phone and hung my head in despair. I could live without elbows, but I love my space cookies. The elephant looked up from his quickly forming robotic harem "Well?" he asked.

"How do I best get the word out about The Night Projectionist?" I sighed.

"Easy," said the elephant, "Tell people about all the other people who dig the book. For example...

"And if that doesn't work," he added, "just give them a little taste."
An android babe in each arm and one hanging from his trunk, my elephant enlightenment pusherman prepared to vanish -- but first he said one more thing.

"Funny you should ask that question," he mused. "A long time ago, Stan Lee asked the exact same thing about Spider-Man. Now he's one of my best customers."

Monday, December 15, 2008

Regarding Horror Anthologies and My Cannibal Boss.

Sorry about my absence last week. As it turns out, 407's Managing Director Alex doesn't want to be called Galactitron. He wants to be called Lord Galactitron. 

So, long story short, he went ballistic on me about the whole thing. Yeah, I could have cleaned his clock, but he's the guy who writes my paychecks, so I had to let him rough me up a little. As luck would have it, the morphine they gave me in post-op messed with my concentration and the wifi network at the hospital was terrible and blah, blah, blah...

The good news is that the doctors were able to save my leg, although it will probably stick out funny. Also, here's an interesting fun fact: your liver actually grows back, even if the majority of it has been eaten! 

The moral of this story is that if Lord Galactitron comes at you with a loaded stapler and he hasn't had his morning snack yet, run the other direction.

Speaking of eating body parts out of living people, I'd like to tell you about our new horror anthology coming out in January, Shadow Chronicles. It's a creepy little taste of the vampires, space zombies and ghost hunters you can expect to see hanging around the pages of Studio 407 in the future, including Night Projectionist by Robert Heske and Diego Yapura, Netherworld by Chad "Big Pencil" Jones and R.B. Silva and Demon Squad by Neil Marshal Stevens and Rafael Ortiz.

Odds are, you're too much of a mama's boy to enjoy stuff this scary, but if I'm wrong, check out the preview here. If you just can't wait until 2009 to pick up a copy, pre-order now at Heavy Ink. Tell 'em Edgar Fiend sent you. They won't give a rat's arse, but if you don't, I'm telling Lord Galactitron.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I have a little Golem, I made it out of clay...

Our managing director, ahem, Galactitron (Do I really need to call you that, Alex?) wanted me to let you know that we got some good stuff coming out in January. 

One of our new years books will be Golem, the story of a big hunk of animated clay that kicks ass. Of course, I'm generalizing slightly. It's actually a really hip update of a old Jewish legend about a guy who crafts a slave monster out of clay and brings it to life to do his bidding. In our version, penned by Scott Barkman & Jeff Le and drawn by Mark Louie Vuycankiat, the Golem comes to life in war-torn 1992 Sarajevo. He's a smart-mouthed bad-ass with an agenda of his own. Think Frankenstein's Monster crossed with Bruce Willis. 

And if you don't believe me, here's what Ain't It Cool News had to say...

Or look for it on the racks at the start of 2009. That's it for now, geek buddies. Next time I'll tell you a little about our new horror anthology, Shadow Chronicles.

Introducing Edgar

Hi. I'm Edgar Fiend. I'll be your new host here at the Studio 407 blog. The kids down in the editorial pool may know a thing or two about putting out great comics, but when it comes to blogging, they're just scared little children. To wit, when I talked to 407 Editor-in-Chief Chad -- or "The Big Pencil," as we call him -- about his reluctance to post here more often, he just stammered and blushed in the same way he did at a recent comic store appearance when a babe dressed like Vampirella asked him to sign her Shadow Chronicles, so to speak. 

So to make a long story short, they had to pull in the blogging big guns -- me. 

I'll be keeping you up-to-date on new releases and upcoming Studio 407 events. In fact, if next year goes as well as planned, 407's managing director Alex -- or "Galactitron," as he's asked us to call him (Don't ask) -- has promised The Big Pencil that he can throw that Saran Wrap toga party he's been asking for. So if for no other reason, stay tuned to hear more details on that.